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Focus on the Vision

Almost everything we enjoy, cannot be enjoyed in its entirety until we realize that what we enjoy will most always be accompanied by the mundane tasks that make our moments of pleasure possible and we in turn, set ourselves up to focus on the vision, not the next step.

Take music for instance.  One of the absolute most pleasurable moments of music for me is to direct a choir in its polished form on a song that contains the concentration of emotion that has built over weeks or months of polishing each intricate detail.

But the journey to that performance is laden with the mundane, the long and tedious stress of wondering whether it will ever come together, the laborious rehearsals where everything goes wrong–when the effort of choir members seems to be lackluster at best.

Why is it that we define our lives, our day-to-day existence by the journey and not the end result?  Why, when we awaken in the mornings, do we not first think of the end result, instead of the steps of drudgery we must take in order to get there?

It is really hard to let the vision of our “end result” shape our daily activities.  Too often, the complaints of others, the voice of our own insecurities, memories of our past failures and overwhelming prep work destroy our vision and we give up short of that brilliant performance.

I for one, habitually awaken to the remembrance of the next step I need to take, instead of an intentional reminder of the desired “end result.”

No matter what your life’s calling…if God has given you a vision of the “end result,” if He’s given you a glimpse of who you may one day become, intentionally create reminders of that vision and stay inspired by focusing on the end result.  Life can get awfully dark and dreary when the only thing we focus on is taking our next step.

Life is more than putting one foot in front of the other.

There is a vision, a finished product, a postcard finish line.

Instead of filling your calendar this month with reminders about what you need to do next to reach your goals, why don’t you fill your calendar with reminders about the vision of who you hope to become?

Here are a few reminders for me this week:

http://bcove.me/hc2yxxd4

http://fw.to/wOrd55B

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Fights

Sometimes I would rather die than to have to deal with silence and fights. I know that my feelings are not always justified, but it would be nice to be understood once in a while. Instead I feel like I have to keep it all locked up on the inside unless I want to be left out in the cold for good. I pray for clarity and for strength not to be mean back. It seems very unjust and childish not to be able to talk to my very own husband. I want to see where I am wrong in this so that I can truly be sorry for my actions. But right now, I am not sorry for my actions, I am just sorry for having to suffer in my own house. It seems as though we don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg. But we are both unsatisfied with each other.

I am unsatisfied with a lot that probably is buried beneath the surface so that I can’t even understand it myself.

I guess God just wants to stop being my backup, when times get tough.

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Am I Happy?

Am I happy?

I just need a friend
I threw away every
reference
to anything more.
No. Rephrase.
I tucked it away
safely
for a rainy day.
And the only way
I know
to make a friend
is to give something
I have to give
but it doesn’t mean
I don’t need
anything in return.
Because that would be desperation. And I’m not desperate.
But if I were, Who cares anyway.
We’re all desperate, just not always fully aware of it.

I just want someone to like me
hear what I have to say
listen to my songs
without turning away.

A Freaking Fairy Tale where you have to get drunk just to believe a 3 night stand was somehow something more.

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Adultery

‘adultery’ is Googled 450,000 times per month.

For years
I’ve kept my eyes
from catching yours
because
I knew it might take me beyond
the safe distance
of your voice.

Every day
I’ve withered
from the side
in your arms
when you held me
tighter than I could respond
smiling politely
in the distance
when you tried to catch
my glance
knowing
that I’d have to face you
tomorrow.

But today
the day
i know i’ll never see you again
except on formal occasion
with curious observers
to decide
I turned your glance
into a gaze
and sank into your arms
with mutual embrace
knowing the rush
of everything I’d kept inside
was enough
to convince you
I was right
to stay away.

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Wasn’t Me

‘true love’ is Googled 1,220,000 times per month.

I saw us walking
together
a long time ago
but it wasn’t me
and it wasn’t you
it was our story
holding hands
with fate
swinging arms
like tomorrow
would never come
and I dreamed
about you
and just how our love
would unfold
on a lake
under wind
sailing water
breathless takes of
feeling every brush
against your skin
bare with honest
confessions of
life we messed up
and mixed up.
This is nothing
like the motions
everything like the
dreams
that keep us waking up
surprised that
morning never comes.
This is what I was searching for
when I found you
and young at heart
but old at life
it sounded like a script
that I’d never heard before
so I walked away
because you told me
I should go.
Now you keep coming back
like the tide
that draws me
near
and I keep walking
mystery’s edge
wishing you’d find me
when I least expect it
again.

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From the Unknown Soldier

From the unknown soldier:

This flight is so alone without you.
I think of you every bit of the way.
Your gentle composure is something I long for when I am away from its comfort.
Would it be that I had affections for another man
I might miss the depth of your silent touch.
But it is you I long for-day and night.
My prayers teeter between heaven and flesh.
And though my heart is buoyant with you
I find comfort in being grounded in God’s divine wisdom regarding the future.
I am so fearful because making apparent how I feel
is the chance for you to counteract in revealing how you have never felt.
Maybe it is because I see so much knowledge and wisdom and grace
as a part of who you are that I take this chance now.
I’ve always thought that the ultimate connection would be between two
who have the utmost admiration and respect for the other.
And I for you.
And it is not that women refrain from falling at your feet.
It is that you would never allow such
from one who you are not prepared and eager to call as your own.
And yet you do call someone your own.
And so I concede.
Why must life be this way?
You in your own time zone–sleeping when I am fully awake.
Why can’t in one moment we rush mutually toward the other
with perfect peace in God ordained union?
I wonder if you think about me.
And someone wonders if I think about them.
And I think about you.
Perhaps I am in love with your prior dedication to finding only the best.
And perhaps my love is tied to my own desire to be the best.
But one thing remains–I do love you.
Flying can be so romantic but I cannot soar without you.
My wings are turned toward heaven
but my heart is turned toward you.