I can’t help it. I believe.

‘the power of God’ is Googled 110,000 times per month.’

So, here’s my bottom line on Christianity.  If the power of God cannot become as real to me today as it was to Moses when he led the Israelites out of Egypt, I don’t want anything to do with it.  I’m not looking for fame, but I AM looking for that strong sense that what I’m doing is what God has gotten my attention to do.  I want to be able to tell others “I don’t care if you don’t believe that THIS is God’s calling on my life,”  “God spoke to me from a burning bush.”  You weren’t there, but I was.  This is NOT a metaphor for God’s burning desire that I follow Him.  God is real and so is His purpose for my life.  For some reason, I feel a strong desire to land a leading role in this drama called life.  I want a mission, a God breathed purpose that I know and feel so deeply, it compels me to run away just like Jonah, out of fear for my life.  I want to lay there awake at night thinking that I hear someone calling my name, only to figure out that it’s God, He’s been calling me all this time,  and He has plans for me.

Somehow, it seems like maybe God isn’t as real as He once was because our houses are too messy to invite Him in.  There are too many things to hide, too many bad habits that wouldn’t feel quite so innocent should Jesus be in our presence.  I miss the revival days, the days when everyone around me had this mysterious expectancy that God was going to show up and do something new, move in miraculous ways.  So they cleaned up, got their lives straight, asked for forgiveness for the way they’d been living, and they literally waited on God to show up.  It seems like now, we just settle for a little leaven that’s leavening the whole lump.  Our lives are dictated by our bank account balance, our Tivo and who makes it to the next round on American Idol.  No wonder we’re depressed, our purpose is not rooted, our roots don’t go deep enough to get watered, to thrive in the soil of God’s Word and what He says about our lives.

Now-a-days, preachers and pastors tend to make us feel better about how our lives are just ordinary, how we haven’t heard God speak in years, how our churches are measured by the number of people having fun, not the number of people turning their lives around and getting rid of the stuff that God actually despises.  If a preacher dare speak about how as a society we’re living in sin, he may as well kiss his congregation goodbye, because no one wants to think they need to get their life right, clean up shop and carry themselves in a new way.  This pastor will be accused of self righteousness and on the news you’ll hear about how he’s out of touch and bordering insanity.  A CEO is not the CEO of a company, because he’s perfect, he’s the CEO because it’s a position from which he has been designated to lead, to cast the vision, to measure the organization’s performance against standards that have been written down.  Why is it so hard for people to accept that pastors are not perfect?  They are not preaching to us because their own lives are perfect, they’re preaching to us because they’ve been designated to that role.  If you have a problem with how many pastors have fallen (into sin) and you use that as your excuse to stop “buying from that company,” it doesn’t mean you still don’t need what that company has to offer.  It’s just you trying to be superior, just like you’re accusing them of being.

Anyway, all a little off subject perhaps.  But you enjoy the next episode of housewives.  I want a life that’s set apart.  I hear a lot, “Well, you enjoy your fantasy world where you beg God to show up, but in the mean time, I need to put bread on the table.”  Yes, faith without works is dead.  But if you don’t have faith, your works mean absolutely NOTHING.  You’ll get tired, you’ll get weary, and you’ll show up on someone’s doorstep begging for more.

Food for thoughts:  What if we’re not cut out for a leading role?  “Tell them I am that I am. ”  This is between you and God.

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One thought on “I can’t help it. I believe.

  1. I agree with what you say about insisting that God be a vivid and real portion of our lives, and be increasingly so. I just watched the Dallas Willard videos titled “Listening to God” or “Hearing God” – I forget – and they repeated drive home this same point, that we are meant to live in a experiential relationship with God – not necessarily charismatic, but experiencing his presence.
    It is interesting that you are a statistician. I am a mathematician currently teaching the absolute lowest level of statistics; generally I teach differential equations or linear algebra etc. It is just nice to encounter people who aren’t math-phobes occasionally.
    God’s peace to you and your household.

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