Christian Vs. Secular Music (Cont.)


Heroin in Charlotte, NC – HEROIN Socially Acceptable?

***Update***, many have found my blog recently by searching for some variant of “heroin in Charlotte”……readers, this is all the more reason to be vigilant about what you’re posting online.  It is being indexed and it has the power to lead someone down a narrow road or down the broad road to destruction.  If you’re looking for heroin, stop and look for help.  Read below and see that I can understand your desire to “get high.”  But find a healthy high, a God’s Holy Spirit High.  Don’t fill your veins with synthetic drugs…fill your heart with Jesus.  All cliché, but it won’t seem so innocent when you can’t find your way out and you’re too embarrassed to tell others that you have a problem.

‘where to get drugs’ is Googled 16,600,000 times per month.”

So, apparently, someone very important at one of the big medical centers in Charlotte, NC made a statement that there is a new trend of wealthy young adults getting hooked on heroine in the BEST neighborhoods in Charlotte.  (this is my interpretation from local news media).  Here’s the national news story.

First, let me say that I’m not shocked AT ALL.

Second, let me say that in a statement by ‘someone’ on the Fox Charlotte news station, it was said that law enforcement will not be dealing with this problem by hitting the streets to “arrest people.”  Of course, they’re not.  If it were the “poor” neighborhoods that were seeing a surge in heroine use, THEN they would start locking people up.  (But, that’s a different story altogether.)

I grew up in a house that definitely taught no drinking, no drugs (cigs were included).  My parents used to play this educational game with us.  They would cut up strips of white paper, offer us a cigarette and we were prompted to say “no.”  This actually worked for my siblings and me.  None of us are smokers now (not that I know of).  Unfortunately, “prescription drugs” were not covered.  They probably didn’t need to be, as “opiates,” “narcotics” were most likely not as readily available back then.

Ever since I had my first child and the hospital gave me a narcotic to relieve the pain after delivery….I’ve LOVED the way it makes me feel, so much so, that I tell everyone how much I love the high, so that they can make sure I don’t end up like “one of the upper lower middle class users” who find themselves checking into Carolina’s Medical Center because of a heroine overdose with Oxycontin having been their gateway drug.

I really hate to say this, and probably shouldn’t.  But, getting a narcotic prescription has been one of the fondest memories surrounding birthing babies.  See, I have no problem with acute pain.  I would show the doctors that I was really tough by having NO medication (no narcotics/no epidural) DURING the delivery and then AFTER the delivery, I’d ask for Vicodin or whatever flavor was on the menu at the time.  Then, I’d spend the rest of the time in the hospital and those first few days at home REALLY cherishing my new child who was keeping me up – day in and day out.

This is all somewhat of a rabbit trail post, but I’d venture to guess that part of postpartum depression could be attributed to coming down off that high when your prescription runs out after a few weeks.  When you’re high, you’re thinking, “Oh, I need to make another baby like RIGHT NOW….look at how cute he is.”  You stand there at night rocking the baby back and forth thinking to your sweet little motherly self about how that piercing cry is just a small foretaste of heaven.  NOTHING can bring you down.   Except running out of your drugs.

Well, in order to curb my love for that high, I’ve always listened to the still small voice that told me to throw it away before I got down to the bottom of the bottle.  So EVERY time I’ve had a prescription for a narcotic, I discipline myself to get rid of it early.
But what about those that have nothing better in their life to reel them in from their depths of despair?  What about those who will never, ever find anything close to that high in their everyday lives?  I can completely understand how they keep going until they realize they’ve taken their LAST feel good dose, and they need to hit the streets for more.

What about you?  How do you deal with your inclination toward “the dark side?”  How do you curb your appetite before it becomes an addiction?

****Sharing my story about the births of my four children and the ensuing enjoyment of the prescription medications are not meant to make light of drug use.  My intent is to shine light on how we’re all susceptible to finding ourselves addicted without the initial intention of long term drug use.


Glee……does not make me gleeful.

‘glee’ is Googled 13,600,000 times per month.

(According to dictionary.com)
1 /gli/ Show Spelled [glee] Show IPA
1. open delight or pleasure; exultant joy; exultation.
2. an unaccompanied part song for three or more voices, popular especially in the 18th century.

So, I grew up quite sheltered, to a certain degree.  I don’t know if it’s my conservative upbringing OR my conservative upbringing, but Glee is just way too liberal for me.  I know there are a zillion people who love the show.  What’s so disappointing for me, is that I love music…I just can’t “get into” Glee.  I guess the show is at times, an attempt to reveal what high school is really like.  For instance, it just flashed a scene with a girl hiding in a closet nervously checking a pregnancy test.  Maybe I just don’t get this, because I wasn’t one of the girls hiding in a bathroom closet checking the test nor did I hang with the girls who were already sexually active (at least they weren’t bragging about it) (I WAS in the show choir, the equivalent of Glee, but I was never privy to any trash talk.  I’m sure it existed, I was just oblivious) .  But, what bothers me is that Glee presents all of these situations with no moral conclusion, other than “life is screwed up” and “anything goes.”  Most of the teachers are not painted in a positive light and belligerence seems to be glorified. And then at the end of a show, at certain times, it takes on subjects like “Don’t make fun of those who are mentally ill” or “Don’t be ashamed of the fact that you’ve been sexually abused, get help.”  Those are both very worthy causes, but it all just seems kind of ironic to me….like the cherry on top of a pile……

Why is Glee even on in my house, you say?  Well, it’s because not everyone in my house agrees with me on this point and it’s one of those things I let slide.  I’m sure that just as crazy as I am to those in my own house where I find mainstream TV quite depressing, you’ll probably have a lot to say about how I need to “get with the times.”

I do know this.  Ever since I had children and adopted girls who are now teenagers/young adults, my radar is seriously more sensitive to what TV might be telling them.  Most of the time, shows seem to say “This is normal, don’t be shocked.”  I really can’t laugh anymore at things that seem way too close to home.


Will there be room for me at Jesus’ feet?

So, I’ve always wondered about this.  But I’ve never verbalized it.

Christians tend to put a lot of emphasis on a “personal” relationship” with Jesus Christ.

So, I feel like whenever I see Jesus face to face, after all this time I’ve spent talking to Him daily, that I will want some one-on-one time with Him…….

Will I be satisfied with just being one insignificant person out of the whole throng who will be worshipping at His feet?  I know this is a very  “selfish” thought and that many will say I have my priorities all wrong.   Will I feel like a silly kid at a Justin Bieber concert, fighting my way to the front of the crowd, just to get as close as possible to Him?

You know the story of Mary and Martha, where Martha is chastised because she hasn’t taken the time to visit with Jesus?  Well, wouldn’t it have made Mary’s time with Jesus less special if Martha had been there too?

I know that this is all way beyond our comprehension, how “heaven” will all play out….but I do tend to forget that if I’m expecting to go to heaven, shouldn’t I expect others to be there as well?  Will I be upset if Sister so-in-so gets a front row seat, and it seems as if Jesus doesn’t REALLY know who I am, even though I’ve loved Him for all these years?


Creative Fatigue

‘how to be creative’ is Googled 13,600,000 times per month.’

I find it a little surprising that so many people are researching HOW to be creative. Wow. Directions on how to be creative.

There are some people who would not refer to themselves as creative.  But for those of us who like to think that “creativity” is our thing, it comes as quite a shock when our river runs dry.  It seems like my creativity never comes at a steady flow anyway, but instead stumbles along in starts and fits.  But, then on top of that, when it seems like everything I write is exactly what someone else would have said, and in fact, IS–if I just take the time to Google it….Or when the song I’ve just written sounds oddly familiar to me, like maybe I’ve oh so accidentally plagiarized it from the dark recesses of my eighties playlist….or when I just sit there staring into space thinking that every single thing I could write or create would not even be as good as a knockoff of a knockoff–it’s depressing. I’m experiencing “creative fatigue.”

Sometimes I feel so creative, that I can’t stop myself from creating and initially I’ll think that what I’ve created is so great.  I feel high on my accomplishments until I share what I’ve created with a few people and they’re not quite as enthused about my genius and I come down really quickly starting to feel uncontrollably jittery, like I’ve either had too much coffee or not enough. When I’m actually feeling very creative, I have to stay away from nay-sayers, non-creative people who think that creativity is a waste of time (perhaps those secretly Googling “how to be creative?”). I have to find a comfortable space (usually in my car with the doors locked…I like the sunshine, but the sunshine is too bright for my computer screen when I’m outside).

Other times, I don’t feel so creative. I get “creative fatigue.” Everything looks painfully black and white to me and I turn into one of those people that is annoyed by all things creative. I just want people to cut to the chase, stop chasing rabbit trails. I want them to be quiet and stop supposing, contemplating and creating just based on what’s going on in their own little crazy heads.

For a brief moment, I understand what my non-creative counterparts must feel when they have to spend time with me–slightly put off as they politely humor me, hoping I’ll shut-up soon.



‘Divorce’ is Googled 7,480,000 times per month.

Because divorce is Googled so many times per month and because there are a zillion pages about divorce, it was going to be hard to compete in the search engine. So I chose something more specific “pain of divorce.” Yes, people are actually searching for that, 3,600 people per month in fact. In retrospect, these were most likely individuals who had already been divorced and just looking for a way to deal with the pain. But my press release is a different focus.

Here are the top search phrases people searched, when they found my press release.
1.broken heart divorce
2.pain broken heart
3.how to pray for you marriage
4.pain of divorce
5.pray for divource

Interestingly enough, in comparison to the suicide press release, this one has received a lot fewer hits (1,590) in four years. However, I have received multiple emails from people requesting prayer for their marriage, both men AND women. I have not received ANY emails from the suicide press release. I hope this is not a bad sign, but God knows. In later posts, I will elaborate on my analysis of those emails received.

**Note, the number of searches per month for divorce has cut in half since 2009. Not sure what this indicates, but maybe it’s a good sign?

Here is the “divorce” press release:
Marriage Divorce Broken Heart Unexpected Pain? Let me pray for you. There is hope.

Marriages are ending in divorce at an alarming rate. Hearts are broken and lives are overflowing with unexpected pain. We have learned to make it through each day because everything around us just says, “Give up. You’re now a part of the NORM.”


PRLog (Press Release) – Apr. 6, 2009 – Marriages are ending in divorce at an alarming rate. Hearts are broken and lives are overflowing with unexpected pain. We have learned to make it through each day because everything around us just says, “Give up. You’re now a part of the NORM.”

While expecting less than the best, we secretly long for more.

People are Googling ‘divorce’ 4 million more times per month than they are Googling ‘marriage.’ There are around 14 million searches for ‘divorce’ on average per month.

If you’re reading this press release, you’re more than likely one of those roughly 14 million individuals using Google as a first resort to find an answer to the problems that plague your marriage. Or maybe you’ve already resigned to give up and Google is your last ditch effort to at least find someone else who has survived the pain of divorce.

I’m not pointing my finger at you. I have also obsessively Googled any marriage problem under the sun to see what everyone else had to say regarding how to have a successful marriage. And I must confess that I still have not completely nipped my bad habit in the bud. But it hit me like a ton of bricks when I was meandering through my Bible the other day–Wow–I’ve been going to Google for answers instead of God?!? While it may flatter Google to know that they’ve received way more queries than God in the last month–this phenomenon is a small piece of the larger picture that depicts a world literally dying to know the truth. They just aren’t finding the answers that ring true.

You may argue with me….”But you CAN find God on Google.” “I’m reading THIS press release because I found it on Google.”

Yes. And you can find so much more. How are you going to filter your search results? How are you going to separate the wheat from the chaff? The good from the bad? The truth from the lies?

It won’t be easy. And by the time you’ve found one grain of salt, your mind will have likely become so clouded by fence straddling advice–that you just decide on compromising your beliefs in favor of your flesh.

You’re looking for a way to save your marriage. You’re looking for a way to keep your family together. You’re looking for a way to avenge a cheating spouse. You’re looking for a way to soothe your conscience. You’re looking for a way to fulfill the desires of your flesh. You’re looking for a way to find someone who REALLY cares. You’re looking for a way of escape.

Jesus said, “I am the way.”

Everyone is so afraid of offending the masses and yet they don’t know how to refrain from offending their own spouse. Everyone is so afraid of being politically correct, yet they can’t manage their own household with diplomacy. Everyone is so afraid of letting Jesus into their hearts that they settle for selling their family’s soul to the devil.

I get caught up in popular culture too. A lot of times, I just keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to offend someone who doesn’t believe Jesus is THE way. I don’t want people to think I’m weak because I believe that Jesus is THE way, the truth and the life. I am afraid that someone will deduce my intelligence to zero if they knew how much I depend on God to get me through each day. And I don’t want them to look up all my past indiscretions and just excuse my relationship with God as a hypocritical façade.

So I keep my mouth shut and continue to live in obscurity just like the rest of the world. THIS is not what our lives are supposed to be. I’m tired of living a mediocre life and settling for something less than the best. But I feel so swept away by society. I get caught up in a wave of excuses designed to keep us doing the same bad things over and over again.

I’ve run off on a little bit of a rabbit trail. What does all of this have to do with marriage?

Marriages are dying. They are getting choked out by lies. Lies in the form of concessions made for each gender: Men are visual creatures. Women are emotional creatures. Men are warriors. Women are nurturers. Men need lots of sex. Women can do without sex. Men need respect. Women need love.

And from these concessions, other, more dangerous conclusions are drawn, based on the general premise that “there is a good explanation or justification for your sin because as a man/woman, you just can’t help yourself.”

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. Whatever you sow, you will reap.

Simple as that–MAN or WOMAN–it remains difficult to live IN this world but not OF this world.

That is why I’m not offering answers for your specific marriage problem. I’m begging you to go to the Word of God and look for those answers yourself. Because I am human and face the same problems in my marriage as you, I am better suited to pray for you and leave the answers to God.

This is what I want my ministry to be–to pray for your marriage. To have faith with you that your marriage will be healed. You are not alone and I want you to have the faith to keep going because God can work a miracle in your marriage. God can turn your situation around and work everything together for your good. I created an email address specifically for collecting prayer requests for your marriage. You can email me with your name and prayer request. You do not have to include your name. You do not have to include your problem. You can just email me and say something like, “My marriage needs prayer.”

I will pray for you every day to the best of my ability and if I get so many requests that I cannot handle the volume, I will invite others to join me.

The reason I’ve decided to do this is because I’ve been praying for a big purpose in life and there is nothing more disturbing than seeing the family unit dissolve so quickly. I want my prayers for your marriage to serve as the hope that you need to keep going and the proof that you need to believe God still answers prayer.

If you need prayer for your marriage, email me at: marriageprayers@gmail.com

You can email anonymously if you wish.

Thank you for reading and I pray that you can live in Godly harmony with your spouse. Divorce is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

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If you’re reading this press release, you’re more than likely one of those roughly 14 million individuals using Google as a first resort to find an answer to the problems that plague your marriage. Or maybe you’ve already resigned to give up and Google is your last ditch effort to at least find someone else who has survived the pain of divorce.
— End —


“Thinking of Suicide”

“thinking of suicide” is Googled 14,800 times per month”

This doesn’t even take into account every variation on the subject of suicide that is being Googled each and every month.

About four years ago, I started publishing press releases that were meant to come to the top of the search engine for certain search phrases so that those “searching for the answers in all the wrong places” would find a positive message that would divert their attention toward something good.

The top phrases that were searched for when people found my press release are as follows:
1.suicide pills
2.suicide by pills
3.suicide with pills
4.pills for suicide
5.pills suicide

Perhaps all of these searches are by people who are writing research papers on suicide. But it’s disturbing that this press release has received around 3,000 hits since it was published, and it’s not even faring that well in the search engine. I also find it interesting that since I first published it, the monthly number of people searching for “suicide pills” has increased by 3,000.

Here is the press release:

Suicide Pills-are not the answer. Suicide is not the answer. Stop the pain. Dump the pills.

Over 9,000 people Google “suicide pills” monthly. This doesn’t take into account those individuals who are looking for other ways to end their life. You are 1 of over 9,000 people, just this month, who have searched for a way to stop the pain.


PRLog (Press Release) – Jul. 1, 2009 – Suicide pills will kill you. But you’re already dead. No one will notice you’re gone. You’ve spent so long trying to prove yourself. Trying to make up for past mistakes and working so hard to prevent future failure, you’re tired. Now it’s time to give up. Nothing is ever good enough. You gave everything you had to give, even the parts of you that were less desirable, in hopes that transparency would garner mutual respect. But you ended up taking all the blame. You thought giving everything you had to give, even if it caused you physical hurt and shame, would be enough to earn their love. You went the whole way. You stuck with them through thick and thin. You held their hand in the dark. You made it through last night because the lights were out. But today your story is incomplete. No one knows where you’re headed. Not even you. You’ve come to the dead-end of two roads diverged: either keep sacrificing yourself in exchange for the hope of true love or simply put an end to the misery by taking suicide pills.

Over 9,000 people Google “suicide pills” monthly. This doesn’t even take into account those individuals who are looking for other specific ways in which to end their life. You are 1 of over 9,000 people, just this month, who have searched for suicide pills—or a way to stop the pain. The pain of your past, the uncertainty of your future…..the inexplicable urge to discover something that you’re not sure exists—are all burdens too overwhelming to keep carrying on your own.

When I was on the broad road to self destruction, there were many times that I thought suicide would be an easy way out, a way to end the hurt…a way to finalize my rejection…a way to escape the consequences…a way to avoid my shame. I wanted to end my life because deep down, I knew I was already dead in my own trespasses and sin. (Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”) I tried to justify myself by comparing myself to other people. I thought, “At least I am better than them.” Sometimes I even tried to out-perform myself, “I will just be a better person.” But it never worked. I always ended up slipping back into the darkness. Every time I was around my friends, I felt better, because they seemed happy on the outside just like me. But anytime I was alone again, just me and the four walls, I felt surrounded by the reality of my life and isolated by the fact that no one really knew the pain I was feeling. I felt lost. Sometimes I would flip on the television and hear a story about a politician or preacher who had been “found out” and I would sit there feeling righteous in my own actions, not because I had never done anything wrong, but because I had been a better actor. (Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”)

But deep down inside, though I felt so dead, I really didn’t want to die. I wanted to live. I REALLY wanted to LIVE. I was tired of hanging out with the “walking dead.” My casual lifestyle had become my casualty. I knew that the “Truth would set me free.” But I didn’t know the TRUTH. I remembered the song from childhood, “Jesus loves me, this I know.” But I didn’t KNOW. I wanted to believe it was real. I wanted to believe He could rescue me from everything all at once. But at the same time, I was too embarrassed to admit I needed a savior. Even though I was skilled at giving others a chance to rescue me, I always ended up drowning—because they were trying to come up for air too. They needed a Savior. Just like me. Our efforts to hang on tight to human love, pushed us even farther away from God.

I’m writing this press release because I know your pain. I feel your heartache and I relate to your loneliness.

Imagine a world so lost, Google is queried more times than God.

Stop searching in all the wrong places for your answers to a life of contentment and peace. Suicide pills are not the answer. Suicide is not the answer.

Jesus came to seek and to save the lost. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. It doesn’t matter how ashamed you feel. It doesn’t matter how much other people have hurt you. It doesn’t matter what you’re trying to hide. ( Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”)

You may be thinking, “I don’t even know Jesus. You’re introducing Him to me for the first time. Why should I trust Him?” Funny how you meet someone online or in a bar for the first time and you’re ready to give them a chance, end up getting burned, and still yet give them another chance…..but the very giver of life….the very man who can give you exactly what it is you’ve been looking for all along…..the man that will REALLY love you unconditionally, the man that will hold you in the palm of his hand and handle your inner truth with the utmost love and respect….JESUS…..you decide to exercise caution with Him.

If there was ever a time you needed to give another person in your life a chance, it is NOW. Jesus is the way, the truth and the LIFE. Choose Life. Romans 6:23 “But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

All you have to do is stop placing your faith in your friends, partying, relationships, family, drugs, sexual deviance and anything else that takes the place of Jesus as your Lord. Tell Jesus out loud that you accept him as your Savior. Believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead so that you could have LIFE. (Romans 10:9, “That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”)

Here is a simple prayer to pray to God. Saying this prayer is a way to declare to God that you are relying on Jesus Christ for your salvation. The words themselves will not save you. Only faith in Jesus Christ can provide salvation! “God, I know that I have sinned against you and am deserving of punishment. But Jesus Christ took the punishment that I deserve so that through faith in Him I could be forgiven. With your help, I place my trust in You for salvation. Thank You for Your wonderful grace and forgiveness – the gift of eternal life! Amen!”

I started the ministry of using press releases and keywords to help people who are searching in all the wrong places for answers to their life’s problems. I decided to write this article for those of you who were searching for ‘suicide pills.’ Please don’t take your life. Jesus loves you. I know that life is hard. But there is hope in Jesus Christ. I want to pray for you. This ministry originally started as an outreach to married couples having problems. However, the problems in the world are so many and so diverse, that I wanted to reach out to anyone who might be hurting. Please email me if you would like me to pray for you: marriageprayers@gmail.com I will respond to your email. I will try to pray for you every day. If the prayer requests become to numerous, I will engage others to pray for you.

I hope you’ve accepted Christ as your Savior. Please know that I’ve tried many different roads and none have brought peace and fulfillment, except faith in Christ. Jesus will meet the needs of your heart. Accept Him. He will accept you.

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