Shame

Why?
What did you do?
No one knows?
You’re afraid that someone will find out?
Everyone thinks you’re an o.k. person.
But you know you’re not.
You feel shame.
You feel shame so much that you resorted to Googling “I feel shame.”
In hopes that you will find, perhaps a psychological solution for getting rid of your shame that MUST be related to something in your past that you may or may not even remember.
You must be wondering if anyone else feels the shame that you do.
What about all of those successful people that seem to have everything figured out?
What about those stars who have made their way to top because of their seemingly un-ending supply of confidence?
What about religious leaders who have paved the way for the world’s spiritual advancement, only to make us feel more shame for never measuring up to the public standard they have set?
What about political leaders who fought for the noblest of causes and changed the world by moving us away from our habits of racism and sexism?
Oprah, President Bush, Gandhi, R. Kelly, Dr. Phil, Billy Graham, Martin Luther King Jr., Bill Gates, Donald Trump…..so many more that have raised the standard of life so high we can’t even begin to think they have ever felt shame or may even be feeling shame now, just like you.
We don’t even like to use the word shame though, because it connotes that we have something wrong with us. Anyone that feels shame, must have something to feel shameful about. No one wants to think that they are bad or that they have a reason to feel shame. But listen. This isn’t supposed to be some philosophical discussion to confuse you. This isn’t supposed to be my effort to make you feel shame. Because obviously, you landed here because of what you were already feeling.
This post is supposed to be some salt in the earth.
Some light on the world wide web.
I have been seeing things on TV recently where people are posting such videos of desperation on YouTube lately, and I feel really bad that I’m not doing anything to turn the tides of evil in the world.
Doesn’t it scare you when you see some of the creepy things that are taking place, almost uncontrollably in the world, in the United States of America? It is almost like our “destiny is destruction” and that we “glory in our shame.”
Our “Minds are on earthly things” and we think that we are invincible….that we are going to live forever and that posting a popular vile video on YouTube is our ticket to notoriety, to success, and to the recognition that WE mean something to someone, in fact, millions who are viewing our filth, because they too are looking for answers online.
Please listen to my plea. I have felt shame. I even feel shame now when I do something that I should not do. I feel shame for being ashamed of the name of Christ. I feel ashamed for not being able to share my faith in person with someone. I feel shame for not having enough faith to tell others what Jesus can do for them. I don’t want you to leave this site just because I started talking about Jesus. Listen. I have some of the same issues with Jesus, that you do. Questions that I ask myself about God and why He does what he does and why He did what He did. I used to believe with childlike faith, when I was 6 years old. And, really…back then, I didn’t have ANYTHING to feel shameful about. You see, I rarely disobeyed my parents. I didn’t have a desire to hurt anyone. I wanted, in fact, to please everyone. But, I still felt convicted in a very primitive way, at 6 years of age. Perhaps, I was was more aware of my lostness because I grew up around the Christian concept of being lost. But, we all grow up learning something. We all grow up as a part of a religion, whether it is called religion or not. We grow up with a set of beliefs, even if those beliefs are that we don’t believe in beliefs.
But I wasn’t happy with following Christ at such a young age, because I felt like my faith was not authentic, because I had never been down a dark road. I had never chosen anything that would cause me to feel any major shame.
I am getting off subject. I will write more later. But, I just want you to know that I did end up going down some dark roads, but Jesus Christ was always there with me, shining his light into my life and telling me day and night that I wasn’t where I was destined to be. I feel kind of goofy telling you this right now. I feel like I am in high school, worried about what you will think of me as a person, if I just talk like some fanatic Jesus freak who is so disconnected from reality.
But guess what? The reality…the real real real reality is that none of us will live forever. As much as we want to believe or to convince ourselves that the latest trend is what matters, this life is but a season, and this life will pass. It doesn’t matter what you think of me. It matters what God thinks. It matters where you will spend eternity. Don’t be a fool. I have seen people die. I have seen someone take their last breath. There is nothing uglier than a person who refuses to admit their shame.
never admits their shame.

Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.

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